The gut-wrenching feeling of a broken heart. We all feel it at some point in our lives, and we all desperately search for ways to overcome it. While there is no quick fix for a broken heart, there is a way to soothe it until the pain goes away.

Some common mistakes people make when they try to heal their broken hearts are: rushing into new relationships, drowning away the pain with harmful substances, or engaging in risky behaviors. But the key to mending a broken heart is to do the inner work first, which will lead you to make wiser decisions in the future.

Whether your broken heart is the product of a failed marriage, relationship, or friendship, the following three tips will prove efficient in soothing it.

fix a broken heart

1. Rediscover yourself

The best way to deal with heartbreak is to focus on the self. We often spend so much time tending to other people, striving to please them, that we lose ourselves in the process. Yet, we can’t offer much when our emotional buckets are empty and when we forget ourselves.

For instance, being in long term relationships shrinks our sense of self. As a result, our partners become part of our identities, which is why we struggle to find ourselves once a relationship ends. So you want to focus your energy on rediscovering yourself and your worth as an individual. Reconnect with old hobbies, do the things that interest you, or get in touch with friends you may have neglected.

There is nothing more rewarding than the feeling of growth. So why not embark on a journey of personal growth and become the best version of yourself? It will positively impact every other area of your life, and lead you to new beginnings.

2. Banish resentment

It’s so easy to get caught up in regret and wishful thinking. We often resent the people who have hurt us, or wish that things had developed differently. We wonder what we did wrong, what they did wrong, and why this is happening to us. And we dwell on what could’ve been, but wasn’t until it turns into a toxic cycle of resentment and self-pity.

Resentment hinders your ability to heal from heartbreak. It keeps you stuck in the past and unable to see the future. So learn to forgive and accept that broken hearts are part of life, they can’t always be avoided. Mourn the loss that broke your heart, but remind yourself that you will find happiness again.

3. Accept what is

Your broken heart will only get better if you allow it to. And the way you allow a broken heart to heal is to accept what is. Accept the outcome, the suffering, the mistakes and missed opportunities. Cherish the good memories you’re left with, and let go of the ones that cause you pain.

Sometimes, broken hearts are the greatest gifts because they force us to take steps we otherwise wouldn’t dare take. Perhaps now it’s your chance to evolve. So get excited about the upcoming experiences and possibilities. This could be the beginning of the greatest time of your life.

Stay open to trusting again, do your best to avoid past mistakes and you’ll get better than what you had. So when you meet new people, do give them a chance to prove trustworthy. Don’t make assumptions about them based on your past experiences. Instead, use those experiences to stay level-headed whenever you have to make a decision.

You’re only given one life. Are you willing to sacrifice fully living it for one person? Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’ll never recover from losing your “true love”, “soulmate”, or “best friend”, because you will. The pain may linger on, you may get some flashbacks, but eventually it will become a memory. One of the many memories we collect along the way in our complex, intriguing lives.

Bonus: 10 Activities To Soothe Your Broken Heart

1. Write your pain away in a journal.
2. Take a walk.
3. Talk to a person who makes you feel good.
4. Help a stranger.
5. Tell yourself out loud how much potential you have.
6. List 5 things you disliked about the person who broke your heart.
7. Write a note to your future happy self.
8. List three things you love about yourself.
9. Do something you’re afraid of.
10. Ask yourself: Do I want to allow the person who broke my heart to determine my future?

Here is a helpful quiz to evaluate your emotional well-being.

You may also like: 5 Mistakes To Avoid In A New Relationship